Elijah's To-Do List 1/16/13

1. Wake Mommy promptly at 7:00am. We've got a lot to do today.
2. Drop Kix from highchair to floor. Demand apple for breakfast instead--the whole apple, no wimpy slices.
3. Eat half of apple. Demand to be set free from high chair prison.
4. Demand the privilege of carrying apple with you wherever you go.
5. Drop apple like a hot potato when you spy the orange peels in the garbage.
6. Pull orange peels from garbage and walk around house happily munching them and smacking lips. Leave dribbles and snippets of orange peel behind you, Hansel fashion.
7. Reclaim apple from under kitchen table. Enjoy a few bites. Drop apple in garbage. Reconsider.
8. Reclaim apple and enjoy it all the way to the core. Deposit core under kitchen table.
9. Stand at baby gate, bang it back and forth, and demand to be allowed access to the great upstairs.
10. Engage in a giggle party while playing "Two Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" with Toby.
11. Investigate diaper pail. Reconsider.
12. Play for 1.6 seconds with an age-appropriate toy. Reconsider.
13. Stand at baby gate, bang it back and forth, and demand to be allowed access to the more desirable downstairs.
14. Pull onion netting from garbage and gleefully fling it around and around to evenly distribute thin, crispy onion-peel shavings across the floor of Mommy's office.
15. Confiscate broom from Mommy and demand to clean up your own mess, thank you very much.
16. Leave office with onion netting hooked to bottom of sock to distribute some more peelings.
17. Spy bathroom door that has been left open. Bingo.
18. Quickly investigate plunger, toilet bowl brush, and shampoo bottles before being ratted out by siblings.
19. Chew on hairbrush and protest the injustice loudly while being evicted.
20. Open drawer containing winter clothing. Chew on hand-knitted mittens. Reconsider.
21. Throw entire contents of winter clothing drawer on floor instead.
22. Succumb to nap when Mommy turns on the ocean waves sound and hands you a fleecy blanket. 
23. Eat heartily at lunch to keep up your strength.
24. Watch Mommy chop apples for crock-pot pork roast dinner. Beg for whole apple (slices will not do).
25. Carry prize apple around and around house taking bites and jabboring happily.
26. Rub apple back and forth across the carpet, just for kicks.
27. Abandon apple when Kleenex box comes in sight.
28. Pull Kleenex from box, shred to pieces. Offer some to Mommy. Wipe nose on sleeve.
29. Look for Apple. Take bite from raw sweet potato instead. Resume search for apple.
30. Scream in horror when Mommy washes apple.
31. Fall for the old ocean-waves-sound-and-fleece-blanket-trick again. Drat.
32. Wake quietly and secretly pull half of the contents of the dirty laundry hamper through the bars of your crib. Knock the lid off of the diaper pail. Wail pitifully when Mommy finds you surrounded by dirty socks and underwear in a room that smells like three-day old diapers.
33. Request an apple for an after-nap snack. Scream and fling banana to floor because you haven't quite learned the words for, "I said 'apple' you imbecile!"
34. Announce with authority, "Da, da, da, da, DAAAA!" when Daddy comes home from work. 
35. Cling to Daddy's leg and refuse to let him take his shoes off or change out of his scrubs before he tickles you and holds you up to touch the ceiling.
36. Trample on the "Toy Story 3 Yahtzee" game board that all four of your siblings were attempting play with Daddy, because you haven't yet learned how to yell, "MY Daddy!"
37. Sneak up the stairs when you see that the gate has been left open. Stand innocently in the kids' room and explain, "Ma wanee gablay yagunoh ya," when mommy asks what you are doing up there.
38. Fall happily to sleep at 8:30pm after an exhausting day.
39. Wake happily at 1:34 am, entirely refreshed and ready to begin the next one.